A Few of the Iguanas I Have Met


We have not forgotten to reach for the reflection in the swimming pool. Not much of a humanitarian, but who can blame him. To at least care about something, to swim from end to  other end and repeat.



Spectacular unobstructed ocean iguanas! Amazing flat ~~30,027 sq ft lot with 180 degree iguanas of the Pacific as well as mountain iguanas! Nestled on a quiet, private cul-de-sac, this is a beautiful opportunity to iguana something extraordinary. Location is close to Santa Monica with easy access to the scales, but with the tranquility and peaceful privacy that make Malibu unique. Seeing is believing in iguana…you won’t be disappointed.




The glass too is sweating. An iguana in your throat keeps you from conversation, so dancing will do. An iguana in the eye of what you were blathering on about fifteen minutes ago, it catches your pants leg or lack thereof. Steps are there for the cold blooded as well as the warm; touch your Tony Danza skin, and call me at 4:23 in the morning. Bring trumpet.



The green iguana can weigh up to 18 pounds of heroin (8 kg; Afghani preferably) and can reach a length of five to seven feet (1.5 to 2 m). This Iggy has a long body covered with soft leathery scales, a long tail and short legs. In Iggy’s imagination (commonly termed iguanination), its hard, long tail is used as a weapon and for balance when climbing or crawling on glass. Its Dorian Gray like torso has a greenish-gray hue and can change color slightly (but not nearly as well as some lizards, such as Andy Warhol). Female and juvenile male iguanas are a much brighter green than David Bowie. It has feet with five very long toes with sharp claws on the ends, used especially for holding the needle in the broken morning. The iguana has a row of spines that extend along its back from the base of its head all the way to the tip of its tail, descending in size as the decades roll onward. It also has a dorsal crest at the base of its head and a dewlap underneath its chin. The iguana also has inherited a row of sharp serrated teeth.



What I am proposing is a reappraisal of what we have already forgotten about decency, basking in the late Summer Sun, a bright green in the scales. What I am proposing might be better rendered as a fruit-basket, something to pass along, to watch dissolve one apple at a time, on shoddy apricot. Iguana me this: Does your aquarium have the appropriate cacti? Do the crickets sometimes forget? A lizard is a wheel spinning, but leading you nowhere. Split ends are still an ending, and I have sharpened enough teeth. To internalize iguana, to sing happily in the choir.



And hey, forget not thy rock’n’roll lizards.


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